To My Good Friend Raj Desai (@desairaj): This shit is being downloaded as you read this. Believe it.

Pretty excited. I heard next week is bring a prostitute to mass week.

This is utter bullshit:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/BUSINESS/03/10/forbes.list/index.html?hpt=T2

Everyone in this coffee shop right now has amazing tits.

Even the dudes.

(No photo available because that would be really creepy to ask people if they’d mind posing for a cellphone photo prominently displaying their boobs for my stupid blog.)

How to upset parents with too much time on their hands using Facebook comments.

(P.S. Don’t post video of your kids on the Internet. It’s fucking creepy.)

Same coffeehouse. Just watched a woman in a brown felt Paddington Bear hat pick her nose with her pinky, pull out a booger and eat it.

Our eyes met as the booger touched her tongue.

She smiled at me as she swallowed it.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.

Are we supposed to fuck?

I’m doing this show tonight at 8pm:  http://tinyurl.com/yct7b9u

And by “doing” I mean that I’ll be having sex with everyone in the audience.

I’m at a coffeehouse in Hollywood. Sitting two tables away is a piece of shit bringer show comedian dressed in running clothes trying to convince a guy that now is a great time to buy a condo. Wow, this guy sucks at real estate sales, too.

Here’s my segment the Robert Hatfield talk show on Ustream taped earlier today.

Apparently Borders Bookstore is a big fan of promoting read through misspellings.

Glenn Beck has a book out where he’s dressed like a Nazi commander on the cover and I don’t.

I really have to get my shit together.

Hollywood Blvd. Snoopy walking home from work (featuring stranger w/cameraphone stealing what’s left of his dignity).

I am sitting mere inches away from a lot of Robert Hatfield’s dirty clothes.

About to go live with Robert Hatfield.

I’ll be a guest on the Robert Hatfield Ustream show live at 6:30pm PST tonight.

Here’s the link: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/Robert-Hatfield-Show